Uh-Oh!

Went to see a Play at the Alley Theater Saturday, "Wait Until Dark". But that ain't what this is about. Daughter #1 invited us. She has an internship there. So off to Dinner and the Alley we go...The Queen, Daughter #1, and the BF. And I. Our seats (At the Alley) were almost in Pairs. The Queen and I's were. Daughter #1 and BF were separated by a row. But they were able to sit together as there were some no shows in thier immediate vicinity. Play was good! But that ain't what this is about. After the show, while we were standing in line waiting for the Parking Garage elevator, everyone is kind of antsy. I suggest to the Queen, "Why don't we go to Birra Poretti's and wait for traffic to die down? We can have a cup of coffee or something." A withering glance..."Or not," I say. Dunno if the kids are aware of the tension level between the Queen and I or not. You'd have to be unconsious to not feel it. Or DEAD... Plus I have discussed it with Daughter #1 in the near past. I assume she has talked to the BF and perhaps other family members about it. But that ain't what this is about. So the others decide that rather waiting in the line for the elevator(s), we should take the stairs. To the 5th Floor. I didn't think this was really a wonderful idea, but decided to keep it to myself. By the time we had gone up 4 flights, I (of course) could no longer catch my breath. It was like being at high altitude. There was NO air for me here...I hadn't the presence of mind to bring an inhaler with me. (SHIT!) Luckily the truck was actually on about floor 4.5. I made it to the vehicle. Daughter #1 is looking at me, "Are you all right?" "No-oooo-ooooo-ooooo-ooo...I'm not. I can't seem to catch my breath." "You want some water?" she asks. I didn't bother to point out that THIRST was the LEAST of my worries. But I took the bottle any way. We cruise on out of the Garage. The Queen lights up a smoke. I was about to ask her for one - I had run out while we were at the theater. But something stopped me )DUH!( By the time I had sufficiently recovered my wits we were on Richmond Avenue. Going toward the kids' apartment. The Queen asks me, "You want me to stop at this store so you can get some cigarettes?" I was about to say ok, but at the same time I was thinking, 'Are you FUCKING CRAZY?!?!?' I heard myself saying as if from the inside of a long tunnel, "No - Don't bother..." Sidelong glance from the drivers' seat, "Ok-aaaaaay..." "I'm quitting." Who said that? Did I just hear myself say that? From the backseat, "Right now?" "Yes," I say...Enough is enough. Walking up four flights of stairs should NOT feel like a suicide attempt. This is what this post is REALLY about! Now four days later. I still haven't killed anyone. (Not that I haven't thought about it!) I havent really slept well since Friday night. But I was expecting that. I feel okay I guess. Aside from an overall jitteryness. A bit itchy....and (B)itchy. ...Definitely a person NOT to be fucked with, right now!